July 29, 2008

Barack's Ten Commandments

No Messiah is complete without a list of instructions thou shall and shall not do. So here's my version of Obama's Ten Commandments.

1. I am the Messiah, thou shall never doubt my motives or ask tough questions at any time. (As Katie found out 8:30 into this interview last week)
2. Thou shall not question my campaign when we create our own graven image - uh Presidential Seal
3. Thou shall not take my middle name in vein, or mention it at any time
4. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath - no matter what your insane preacher is saying from the pulpit
5. Honor thy Father and Mother - but if Grandma is a typical white person, feel free to throw her under the bus
6. Thou shall not kill, even if the terrorist is square in your sights
7. Thou shall committ adultery - do you hear me John Edwards?
8. Thou shall not steal - unless you are stealing Bono's inspirational words from a rock concert. (You may be saying huh? Here's what I am refering to)
9. Thou shall not bear false witness (flip-flop) on abortion, guns, or Iraq
10. Thou shall not covet - or in others words, assume you have won the Presidency already.

No comments: